I’ve seen it too many times.

A virtual assistant juggling five clients, working well past midnight, glued to her screen all day, convincing herself she’s thriving.. when in truth, she’s barely breathing.

It looks like success on the outside.

The truth? She’s drowning. And she can’t say no.

This isn’t success. This is survival mode dressed up for social media.

The Glorified Hustle

On social media, you’ll find VAs posting about taking on multiple clients at once, juggling back-to-back Zoom calls, barely sleeping, and “grinding until they make it.”

They gain thousands of followers, post aesthetic content, and talk about how exhausted they are.

But here’s what worries me: they post it as if it’s normal.

As if it’s something to aspire to.

This isn’t just hustle. This is burnout wrapped in a filter.

It may get likes, but it’s not sustainable.

And more importantly, it’s not healthy.

Let’s Talk About People-Pleasing

People-pleasing wears many disguises. We think we’re just being “committed,” “go-getters,” or “giving our best.”

But often, what we’re really doing is saying yes because we’re afraid of disappointing others.

We say yes to a new client, even if our plate is already full.

We accept unreasonable deadlines because we don’t want to be seen as difficult.

We lower our rates because we’re afraid they’ll walk away.

It’s not just ambition. It’s fear.. and fear is exhausting.

As Filipinos, we were raised with “hiya” and “pakikisama.”

We don’t want to offend. We want to help.

But sometimes, we help until we have nothing left to give.

Here’s a true story…

I know VAs who have suffered burnout so bad, they left the industry altogether.

I know one with 5 clients, working day and night, barely sleeping, until she broke down.

And then there are those on TikTok, with huge followings, who talk about mental health struggles while still promoting the same hustle culture that got them there.

Books like “The Set Boundaries Workbook” by Nedra Glover Tawwab and “The Myth of Normal” by Dr. Gabor Maté discuss how people-pleasing leads to chronic stress, anxiety, and even physical illness.

And I believe them.

Because I’ve seen it. And I’ve lived it.

I used to overthink every email. Every request. Every deliverable. I’d triple-check everything because I thought if I wasn’t perfect, I wasn’t enough.

It took me years and several breakdowns to realize: I don’t owe perfection to anyone.

I owe it to myself to protect my peace.

Here’s what I started doing:

• I pause before saying yes.
  
• I clearly set expectations with clients.
  
• I define my work hours and stick to them.
  
• I say no gracefully when I need to.
  

And guess what? The world didn’t end. My best clients respected it.

Work-from-home should not mean working-yourself-to-the-bone.

You became a virtual assistant for the freedom, right?

Freedom isn’t just about working anywhere. It’s about working in a way that supports your well-being, your family, and your future.

If you’re starting to feel exhausted, overwhelmed, or always on edge, pause. Reflect.

Ask yourself: Who am I trying to please? And at what cost?

You don’t have to be everything to everyone. You just have to be whole for yourself.

Let’s stop glorifying burnout. Let’s start normalizing boundaries.

And let’s take care of ourselves! Because, yes our work matters, but so do we.